Friday, February 6, 2009

I miss all the little things.

The words.."I miss you." never have any meaning until some one is waving goodbye from a bus, and you have this deep dark feeling down in your heart that they aren't coming back. They kiss you sweetly in the bus station as you weep, almost collapsing into their arms, and whisper encouraging things, yet still, you feel it that this is the last time they will ever hold you. Their sweet kisses are lies, and their arms are like ropes. You are tied to this liar by your heart strings, and yet still you cling to this thief, this man who has told you of his love, and has washed tears from your face.

I have never been so weak. I poured myself into this man, literally gave him myself. And now, all I have to show for it is the outer shell of a woman who has nothing to her name but a broken heart and hands lifted to God.

I fell to my knees this morning , praying for this to end swiftly. Just end the heartache and begin the alone time.

And so I prayed this prayer.

"Dear Lord,
Take this want from me, and fill it with a need for you,
Take this pain from me and direct it to a love for you,
Take this man from me and replace him with a man sent from you,
and lord...could you please make him cute?"

Hope you had a good laugh, because I did. Its good to laugh amidst your pain. If you don't, it takes longer to remember what a smile looks like. I like my smile, I tend to have dimples. Hah.

Let us move from depressive and saddening subjects to new and happy ones.

Songs to listen to while writing.

Yiruma. A classical pianist who can turn a piano into a bed of notes that float into your ears. Sounds interesting, eh? Look especially for Kiss the Rain, and River Flows in You.

Sia. She is sweet, and her voice is soft. A calming sort of sound. Breathe Me is a very personal song.

Death Cab for Cutie. Very mellow, a different beat, a weird set of lyrics, and a good message. Passenger Seat, Summer Skin, and Brothers on a Hotel Bed. All of them have very good messages...very deep and makes you think.

My friends, the like, 2 of you, I do wish to hear more from you and I do wish to see more posts, more comments, and more friends! =] Thanks guys.

1 comment:

Travis Erwin said...

Nothing get me in the mood to write some Rome Robert Earl Keen tunes.