Monday, February 9, 2009

Oh the things you learn...

When my grandmother would pick me up from school, back in the 90's,she would ask me what I learned as I sat down in her very large black cadillac.I hated that car. The seats were always either too hot, or too cold, never the right temperature for my bottom. I would fold my arms and sit there, replying , "Stuff." That sentence almost always led up to her replying, " Stuff is an awful lot to remember, maybe you should do your homework twice to get it all down right. "

God tests us the same way. Once to teach you , and another to see if you can remember it all. I learned that lesson the hard way, it hurt, like jamming your finger in a door, its not that bad, but it still bothers you.

If you read my last blog you would see that I was just a little, "WOE IS ME. WAHH WAHH. BLAH. BLAH. And such. Oh well, it hurt, I wrote it down. I was like a teenager who just couldn't keep it inside anymore! I was...acting a little 16ish. Anyway, moving on, this man did hurt me. Yet, I realized when I was younger I had done the same to someone.

I was young and a chubby little heartbreaker. I think my open personality got me into the weird dating scene, shoving me face first into the world of internet dating. I was such a nerd, I used to RP, DDR, SCA,IM, SPAM, T2, and so on. I was a weird kid. Yet, one day there was a man that came into my life, who changed my life. His name was Chris, and he was brilliant. He spoke to me as if I was a woman and not a child, which I most certainly was, and he made me feel accepted in a way no other had made me feel. We did the Instant message for a few months, and then the phone. He had a marvelous voice, deep and gruff. He spoke clearly, with wonderous words I had never heard of and he always made me laugh. But when he began to say I love you, and wanted to see me, things began to change. O didn't want to travel out there. I wanted him out here. AND THERE WAS MY LESSON.

With this previous relationship, the one in the BLAHBLAHCRY blog, I had actually had my internet boyfriend move here. Well things came to things and he had to go back to Dallas, where he lives. And for at least 3 days he did not talk to me. That is what upset me so badly. Oh I know, cry me a river right?

SO I get this mess--

No I want you to wait for it. TO BE CONTINUED.

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