Monday, February 23, 2009

Im a worrier.

It seems like every day I think of something to say, something brilliant(to me at least), and then I say it... and people look at me like I'm odd, or a little off in the head. I often think of different ways to talk to someone, or ways to make a person feel more at home. I think of new ways to tutor my students, and new ways to write a paragraph in my book. ( Yes, I have a book in progress, and its been that way for 3 progress.) I over-analyze things. I misspell, go back to fix it, and end up rewriting things I never meant to rewrite. In a way, I might be able to attribute that to my focus on too many things.

They say a persons home reflects who they are, as well as their car, or their locker. If their car/home is messy and unorganized, that means the person who owns it is messy and unorganized. If the car/home is neat and well kept, then that person is neat and well kept. Well if that statement is true, then I must be the most unorganized person in the world. Papers fly about in my purse, my laundry is never put away, I struggle to even find the remote at times. My current place of residence is not mine by choice, and in a month I will no longer live there, yet...I will move in with a person who is messy , unorganized and sort of loud. Will I cancel myself out by moving in with a messy person? I sure hope so.

Tips on keeping your house semi-clean.
1. Keep things in the same places you left them. If you take them, return them to their original place of residence.
2. When you see a small piece of paper on the floor, take the 2 seconds to throw it away.
3. Do your laundry on one specific day, or do small loads every 3 days. It will be so much easier.
4. Take your shoes off AT the door.
5. Designate a day for cleaning, and stick to it. If you say you'll clean then, then you better get on those rubber gloves and start cleaning.
6.Play some music loud enough to drain out all opposing thoughts.

Another thing I need to focus more on is leaving my emotions inside of me. I tend to let people hurt me, I tend to be too....sensitive. I wear my heart on my sleeve and it hurts when I use my arms, if you get my point. I am always getting hurt. I need to do what my grandmother said to me long ago and just go on. I need to let go and let GOD. He can take care of things for me, the ones that rest on my mind all of the time.

It might just be a female thing, but I tend to care too much about what people think of me, and insta-guilt overwhelms me most of my day. For example, I was sick this weekend...very, I didnt leave the bathroom for a few hours...ew, sorry I know that was TMI, but I had to. This weekend was the day of my School's Mardi Gras...and I couldnt attend due to my illness. I contacted as many people as I could, but none answered, and I was so sad that I cried, thinking that they would be upset at me for not showing up. I care too much what people think. Its not my fault no one picked up their phone, and its not my fault I had some bad sushi...its NOT.

I worry about the well being of the world too much. I cry at the commercials for WWF (World Wildlife Fund) and ASPCA, and anything involving small hungry children or dying animals, and then I cry harder for not having the money to send to them. Oh yeah, don't watch TV with me, I'll cry on you. I worry worry worry about everything everything everything involving the earth. Once again, I need to let go and let GOD. He made it, he takes care of it, he made us to take care of what we can. If I don't have the means currently to help out the earth, then God will make it so I can make the money to take care of the earth if that is one of my purposes on earth.

So, let's stop worrying and lets let go of our troubles and let God handle them.
I'm going to try right now, and stop worrying how much noise these small children are making and just find a way to solve it. =]

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